PREVIVOR: A person who is not diagnosed with cancer, but has survived the predisposition, or higher risk, of cancer due to a genetic mutation and/or strong family history. After being armed with this information, a previvor can make informed choices prior to a cancer diagnosis.

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Nothing but time

This week has been absolutely surreal to me. I feel like it's going by SOO slow and also SOO fast. Does that make sense? It's sad because I'm doing things for the last time that I won't do again until my surgery (for example ZUMBA. It's just so fun and I've done it at least twice a week for the past year and a half...so it's going to be really weird being gone). My last day at work is tomorrow. I'm teaching my last Religious Ed class on Sunday. In a way it's been a sad week for me! But, on the bright side, this time next week I will be DONE. I'll be on the other side and will NEVER HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT BREAST CANCER AGAIN!!!! (I thought that was a sentence that warranted all caps. HAHA)

For some reason, the decision on whether or not to get nipples has completely thrown me. I mean, how many people can say that they were able to decide whether or not they wanted nipples...it's not like everyone gets this choice. Well I think I may have finally made a decision (for now). I think I'm not going to get them..like I just told Mike the way I see it, they are only good for two things- FOREPLAY and BREAST FEEDING. Those two things will be out of the question anyway, so I really just have the annoying aspect of them to deal with (Showing through clothes!) So no fipples for me. I've already checked with the PS and she said that I can decide at any time if I want them.

I want to take just a minute to thank everyone who has showed me any form of support. It seriously means more to me than I'll ever be able to express. From my co-workers, to my family and friends, to Mike, to people who don't even know me. Seriously, the group of girls who have gone before me in the PBM journey are completely AMAZING. I honestly don't know how I would've gotten through the past few months without having SOMEONE to call, talk to, email, text, Facebook. etc. I'm in LOVE with the FORCE website. It's has been so helpful to be able to post any of my feelings online and on the FORCE message board and have people who knew exactly what I was going through and how to help!

The journey has been absolutely indescribable. I feel like such a better person for everything I've gone through this year. And for everyone who has called me "brave" and "courageous" I hope I don't let you down. In fact, I'm actually starting to believe them.

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