Now...onto the head stuff. I saw my neurosurgeon 11/1. He basically gave me a version of the following spiel:
"While there's no cause for immediate alarm, since there is no rapid growth or swelling it would appear that the tumor is putting pressure on your brain. Now, that being said, the symptoms could resolve on their own, or they could get worse. So if you want to have another surgery to fix it, because I know that has in the past, we can do that. Or we can watch and see"
*BIG SIGH*
Why oh why does it always come down to me making surgical decisions? I almost long for those days when I was told what to do! As much as I don't want to have the surgery, every practical bone in my body is telling me to do it now (I'm out of school until January, I've met my insurance deductibles and out of pocket max) but I don't wanna...
You see, every time I have surgery, there is a slight risk of inhibiting some cerebellar function (BAM I went all nursing student for a second). The first surgery I had major changes..handwriting, walking etc. The second and third not so much. So, there's a good chance that I could make it through fine. But there's that small(ish) chance that I will be set back some and I'm terrified that would mean that I'm not cut out for nursing school. You see, no one wants a nurse with bad hand eye coordination. So, there's a partt of me that wants to definitely NOT have it because I'm scared of what the outcome would be. But, there's also another part of me that thinks if I put off the surgery then I'll just get worse in a few months and have to miss school and that's a debacle I'm not ready to face.
I. Don't. Know. What . To. Do.
With me feeling this conflicted, I'm certainly not ready to jump into any big decision. My headaches have let up slightly, so maybe they're on the way out. So we'll see what the next few weeks bring.
Another thing that happened in the past few weeks is that we elected our next President. Or, should I say re-elected Barack Obama. I'd have to say that it was quite a rush..finally listening to the issues, making my own decision, casting my vote and watching my candidate win. I can't wait to see what the next 4 years will bring.
I won't go into where I stand on the issues, because honestly I'm tired of rehashing my opinions constantly. I will say, that I found myself immensely disappointed in several people I know. So, so hateful. So hateful. I won't even pretend to understand it. But it's due to that overwhelming "I'm looking out for me first." or "us vs. them" or "If you're not with us you're against us" mentality that I could not vote Republican. Not until that party steps away from the extremism and gets back to reality.
That being said...honestly...seeing grown people downright attacking those that choose to express a different opinion on the matters. Really people? What happened to respecting everyone? Anyway, I'm hoping that this type of thing dies down over the next few weeks. That being said, I will continue to post things on Facebook, Twitter, HERE, etc that interest me simply because I can. And if people feel like they need to remove themselves from my life because of it..so be it.
Not to come off as bitter or anything but I'm very tired. My eyes were definitely opened to some truths about people and the world in general lately.
Since that's off my chest it's off to ZUMBA!!!!!!!!!!!!
