"I'm in nursing school hell"
Yes I know this is what I want to do with my life. This is my passion. But....oh boy. This will be the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I figured I'd touch on it from time to time because a) blogging helped me to keep my sanity while going through the PBM so maybe it'll work now. and b) the reasoning behind me being in nursing hell in the first place is due to my colorful medical history.
Most people would run away if they had my genetic problem anytime someone suggested being a nurse. Or anything in the medical profession. I even had a doctor ask me, "Are you sure? Don't you spend enough time in hospitals and doctor's offices?"
Well, in the words of Ricky Ricardo, I'll 'splain.
When I was in ICU for my brain tumor, I saw just what a difference a good nurse can make. And what a difference a BAD nurse can make. I even had nurses and doctors tell me what a great nurse I would make because of my experience as a patient. I, (along with some prodding from God- I wanted to be a lawyer) decided to bite the bullet in 2010 *after struggling for 7 years with the decision* and go to nursing school.
Here I sit, 3 years later, at my lowest point self esteem wise and my highest point weight wise (that I've been in awhile- I eat when I'm stressed!). This class has been my hardest I've ever taken. It messes with your very SOUL. (And anyone who thinks I'm melodramatic, I can put you in touch with some of my classmates and they'll confirm it). I'm tired, my back is knotted up from stress, I've literally been studying ALL DAY LONG and I'm not confident in my ability to pass this test tomorrow.
I've been working full time since I started school, much to everyone's surprise. Half a semester into clinicals and I see why everyone is shocked. I cannot work 37.5 hours a week and go to school. And study. And go to the lab to practice skills. I've been frantically applying for part time jobs, and am waiting to hear back about an interview I had at a local hospital for a part time position! (Fingers, toes, eyes crossed and prayers please!!)
In a few weeks, I'll enter the hospital for the first time and have a patient to take care of. God help us both.
I could go on and on about the horrors of nursing school, but I have to go study (surprise, surprise). I'll try to update from time to time. if anything to keep a record of how crazy I feel right now!