And so it begins

Ok so here goes nothing. I had heard a lot about this blogging thing so I wanted to give it a try. I've heard it's a stress reliever so I figured I'd give it a shot. If you read my profile (or know anything about me) you know I'm in nursing school and work a full time job. If THAT'S not stressful enough, I get to add some crazy medical issues to the mix. To make a long story short, I have Cowden's syndrome which is a genetic mutation of the P10 gene (the tumor supressor gene). I've had benign tumors just spring up my whole life. (I think the surgery I just had brought me up to 12. I've lost count). The most serious was the brain tumor. I honestly think that issue is under control (ok I admit I just knocked on wood. Can never be too careful).

Another thing that my wonderful genetic condition gives me is an increased risk for breast cancer. A REALLY increased risk of breast cancer. So much so that I've had four (yes FOUR) doctors tell me I should seriously consider having a prophylatic bilateral mastectomy (I'll call it a PBM from now on. Because those are too big of words to type more than once.) In layman's terms, they recommend that I should remove my breasts and have implants instead. At first I thought that they were insane. I wasn't cutting off ANYTHING that didn't have cancer.I mean come on, their my breasts! They're part of what makes me, me. So I stubbornly told the doctor that I wanted to do the "increased surveillance" option instead (a mammogram and breast MRI every 6 months).

Fast forward to August of 2009. They found a suspicious lump in both breasts and the results of the biopsy that they did said that atypical cells were found. (these are not cancer cells, but many people call them "pre-cancer") They removed the lumps, and the doctor said that I needed to prepare myself for the cancer diagnosis. When I went back to get the results, everything was clear! The doctor said if I wanted to continue my surveillance, then that was fine since I'd gotten a good report. Fast-forward to October 2010. We began the same routine that was all too familiar. When I went for my appointment to schedule the surgery the doctor said "Will you please have the PBM so I can stop worrying about you?" I feebly told him that I didn't want to take that much time off of school to recover. I told him that April 2011 was the best time for me to have a big surgery. I am taking the summer semester off of school and would have more time to recover. He then told me that he was ok with that, but made me promise to move the PBM up if the biopsy showed anything. I agreed and then he left me to get dressed. When I was getting dressed I looked down and felt a little sadness for my breasts, but relief that I was being proactive and making sure I didn't end up with cancer. So, not only do I have Cowdens, I also found out my biological mother has breast cancer which elevates the risk. AND this made the second time that weird cells were found which elevates your risk as well. This put me in the "not if but when" category (my doctor's words).

I had the surgery about 10 days ago and the results of the biopsy were clear. I'm going to see the doctor Tuesday and he'll make me an appointment to see a plastic surgeon. And then the waiting until April starts.

The reason I started this blog is because I needed a way to relieve some tension in my head. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I'm making the right decision but that doesn't make it any easier. Hopefully, writing about it will make me feel better. Even if no one ever reads it, I'll feel better when I write down everything between now and April. And I'll try to write about other stuff too, not just my boobs =)

And I just realized that it's not even 10 pm, and I'm in my pjs in bed on a Saturday night. I'm pretty sure I'm the oldest 26 year old ever!

Good night!