Back in January, I became increaingly frustrated with the misconceptions some people have about PBMs and the reason behind them. Whether it was out of ignorance, or plain hatefulness I got pretty tired of people dancing around the topic, talking behind my back, or making snide comments. One good thing that that post did was to let people who supported my decision come to me and tell me that they supported my decision.
I sit here at work, supposedly supposed to be studying between phone calls (I have I swear!) and I find myself distracted by something. If I get what I'm thinking out, I'm hoping I can go back to giving my A&P lab manual my full concentration.
Even before I had a PBM or efven considered it, I was a little confused as to why it was such a hot button topic. Who am I to judge someone for removing a part of their body? I mean heck, it's not like they were trying to remove a part of MY body...let them do what they want!
As I struggled to make my decision, I kept hearing that that was just what it was..MY DECISION. I know having a PBM is not for everyone and that's ok. I just know that I feel uneasy gambling with money (even though I have been known to from time to time) much less my health and ultimately my life. Actually, what completely clinched the decision for me was a bold statement I made in high school. I remember it like it was yesterday...it was my senior year and I was in American Government. We somehow got into a conversation about tanning beds (in Am. Gov't..go figure) and how unhealthy they were. One of the girls said that she would rather die young and look good. I turned around and gave her a look (in all of my 18 year old wisdom) and proclaimed that I'd rather LIVE than look good and nothing would stand in the way of me living a long, healthy life (pale skin and all).That kept ringing in my head.....the way I saw it, it either came down to two choices- Keep real breasts and have a possibly shorter life or have fake breasts and live longer. To me, it was really a no brainer.
I realize that not everyone is like that. I realize it may not be as clear cut for some people. That's fine, and I accept that....however I flat out do not understand people judging ME for it. Don't think I haven't noticed the avoidance, the numerous friends that all of a sudden deleted me from Facebook, the snide remarks when I mention my surgeries. I'm not naming any names, but I've come to the conclusion that I simply don't need those people in my life. I refuse to let it bother me anymore...it just makes me sad that it's made me realize who my real friends are.Now granted, all of this could be completely unrelated to my surgeries...however I know I haven't had any quarrels with anyone, and I just find it interesting that several situations have happened after I had surgery.
I know I've joked about the fabulous new foobs I'm getting...but trust me it's the silver lining. And that doesn't mean that I had my PBM for implants...
Like I said, I'm simply not letting it bother me anymore. Let the haters hate.....I'm going to try to look at it as I'm just giving someone else a rest from being talked about and judged!
But I can guarntee you that in 50 years when I'm old and gray but still have the boobs of a 20 year old...I will be laughing the last laugh ;)
I remember saying somewhere that at least the PBM would let me wear cute bras again.
ReplyDeleteSomeone got really upset and went on a tirade about how that wasn't a good enough reason to do it and how they hated that I couldn't accept myself.
People are...stupid.
I made my decision for me. It's a hard thing to do and I make jokes about it to remind myself that there is a silver lining.