PREVIVOR: A person who is not diagnosed with cancer, but has survived the predisposition, or higher risk, of cancer due to a genetic mutation and/or strong family history. After being armed with this information, a previvor can make informed choices prior to a cancer diagnosis.

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Be careful what you wish for?

So I had this thought that I figured I would share on my blog. I've always been a big chested girl. And my breasts grew before anyone elses. So I was always the girl in my class with the biggest chest. And trust me, it got me alot of unwanted attention. I used to feel so uncomfortable because I felt like sometimes I was all boobs to people you know? I used to say frequently "I hate my boobs. If I had a chance, I'd cut them off" Well, I guess God was listening. Sometimes I think God has a sense of humor, you know? It's one of those ironic things I guess.

Recently, I have been having a lot of pain from where I had the excissional biopsy in November. It was the first time I've had a biopsy towards the bottom of my breast and it hurts SO much more. And it happens to be on the side I sleep on, so I have to wear a sports bra when I sleep for the extra padding. And I've had so many lumps removed that I'm starting to have "sinkholes" in places (for lack of a better word....I can't think of any other way to describe it but hopefully you got the idea =). One thing that makes me feel a little better about the surgery is that "my girls" will definetely look better. I mean, there are a million other reasons to have the surgery other than the athestic part but it'll be nice not to look down and cringe.

One thing I'm not looking forward to is dealing with the pain. I know I can handle it, but lets face it- if I feel residual pain from my surgeries NOW how will this pain feel? My plan is to be as physically active as possible....even if it's just going for long walks. Moving around really does make me FEEL better too, you know? I want to be in the best shape possible before surgery too. It'll give me something to focus my energy on in the coming months AND I really should shape up....if I don't I'll look all mis proportioned with a smaller chest =)

I need to call my doctor back tomorrow and find out if they were able to get my surgery scheduled. I know they'll probably get sick of hearing from me...but luckily I'm pretty sure this doctor likes me so I think they'll put up with me.

It's so wet and rainy here. I'm currently curled up with a Snuggie and the new Dexter book. We were going to go to the movies but everyone has decided to stay put.

Good night!


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