I now officially have 14 weeks and 3 days left until my surgery. I talked to my doctors office yesterday and they told me that the surgery is scheduled for April 20. So that means the countdown has officially begun. 14 weeks and 3 days....that both terrifies and relieves me. Does that make sense? It terrifies me in the sense that ITS ACTUALLY REAL! It's not some made up "What if" situation in my head. This is actually happening. The ball has started rolling and I can't stop it. This is my reality, I am losing my breasts in 14 weeks and 3 days.
On the other hand, it relieves me because there is now an end in sight. Even though the ball has started rolling, I can see the bottom of the hill (I'm so metaphorical for someone who just spent the day at school, but more on that later). So that makes me feel good. It's so weird I have so many conflicting emotions, I really feel like two different people. I looked back at some previous posts and I was thinking "Good Lord I sound like a nut" I literally have to hit submit as soon as I finish typing, or else I'll go back and edit something out. I want this blog to be as truthful about my feelings as possible. One, because it helps me to be able to get my feelings and thoughts out and forces me to put words to them. Two, because maybe someone reading this is considering the same procedure. I want to give as honest as an account as possible.
On a different note, I started back to school Thursday. And I spent all day (well from 10:30-4:15) there today. And yes, today is Saturday. I get to take A&P 2 lecture and lab (anatomy and physiology). back to back. As much as I was dreading it, it didn't suck near as bad as I thought. I actually enjoy the class and the people in it were great and made the whole day fun. So maybe it won't be as traumatic as an experience as I first thought. Although, don't get me wrong I'd much rather not have school on Saturday, but I'm ok with this. =)
Well they are predicting snow tomorrow night. I've heard 3-6 inches and then I've heard 6-8 inches. But I've lived here my whole life and know that when people get all excited like that, nothing usually happens.
We will see!
Michelle
That's a huge step, scheduling the surgery. Good for you!
ReplyDeleteSo the count down begins! I had my surgery sched almost 6 months in advance, talk about waiting game lol Calling for snow here in Pa as well by tomorrow night.
ReplyDelete